Motherhood: The Ugly Arises

I am a mother to 5 wonderful, yet challenging children. I was never an easy child, and was always pushing the limits with everything. I never wanted to be wrong, or told what I couldn’t do. A challenge was an open invitation for me to prove the world wrong on a daily basis. Even with all my heartbreaking moments, I feel, I never ceased to show people that I could do anything.
I want to have strong, independent, confident children… but that comes with consequences of being questioned on a regular basis. The man in waiting, has a hard time with his much more traditional approach to parenting while I am at a battle with it being the right decision. 
We yell, we fight, we get mad. Because everyone wants their way all the time. But at the same time, I see how my kids will fight for anything. It may not always feel right and be a serious thing to fight FOR. But they will. And it brings a mischievous smile to my face thinking that I am helping creating the next generation of philosophers, inventors, professors, doctors, parents. If the only thing they have ever learned from me is, “How much further can you take this?” then I will be the proudest mother in the world.
Having children as special as they are, also means they push my every button regularly. They are stubborn, and each so unique. They are sensitive and passionate. They are intelligent and artistic. And most of all, they are all pretty selfish LOL. They want what they want, no matter what. Even with the oldest being 11, he still battles with that. I think emotionally, he is definitely lacking, then throw in puberty with that immature mix, and some days are more catastrophic, then others. I just need to constantly remind myself that I would rather have children who express themselves then keep it all bottled in. I have one of those too, but when he gets angry, boy oh boy, does he. 
On a daily basis, I can have a home that looks like a tornado came through. Children who look like they dumpster dived for food. Bodies that look like they finished a UFC fight. And me looking like I need Calgon and Jack Daniels to take me away.

My life is not perfect. 
My parenting is not perfect. 
Some days, I just want to give up.
Some days, I cry in a room. 
Yet, some days, I am thankful for these 5 monsters because they challenge me to be smarter, stronger, tougher, and more loving, patient, kind. 
I am a mother.
but that is not all I am ❤
Stay Malicious, Rebels 

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