I am a huge believer in self acceptance, confidence, and being comfortable in your skin.
As a mother, I try to make sure all 5 of my children know they are loved and perfect how they are. I want them to know they can be anything they want, as long as they want it.
Of course, as a mother and woman, I am a huge hypocrite of that all of those.
I have a history of low self esteem, which I think stemmed from bullying that started around age 10 all the way through high school. This wasn’t the occasional taunting. This was the daily tormenting about every little thing wrong with me. The amazing thing is that I grew up being told all the right things: You are beautiful, you are smart, you are amazing! I had a dad who loved me how I was. I had a mother who made sure to tell me how special I was. However, there enough of a weakness in my self esteem to completely destroy it. I spent most of high school and into my adult life, wishing I looked different. Considering surgery to fix things. Wearing heavy makeup. Dying my hair, wearing clothes that garnered just enough attention without looking promiscuous.
As I have passed into my 3rd decade of awesome, I have learned how to love myself a little better.
I have learned to accept my body flaws as either living with it or do something healthy about it aka exercise.
I am still a far ways away. And as you can see, I still hide behind a mask of hair and makeup. I want it to be an accessory, not a necessity. I want to feel beautiful when I do nothing and wear ordinary clothes. I want to wear a bathing suit without making excuses.
All these things seem to hinder so many of us as women. The biggest reason? We scrutinize one another instead of lifting each other up. We look to the lovely & realistic Hollywood for what we should look like 2 weeks after giving birth. Let’s face it. Women bring other women down most of the time.
I have been guilty of it. Judging. Shaming. Putting myself above another woman without having any knowledge about her. And does this build me up? No, it just makes me feel worse about myself, my body, my face, my natural aging process, my weight, my little flaws that make me who I am.
So today, I vow to devote Fridays to Feeling Good: about myself, about others, about my spouse, even about my region I live in. Negativity fuels more negativity. While I will maintain my sometimes snarky sarcasm, I can maintain positivity above that. When we are positive people, we pay forward the same effect to others. AND as a mother, I owe it to my kids to show myself love as well.
With the first Feel Good Friday, I am posting the famous #nomakeup selfie to remind myself that I don’t need all the junk to feel pretty.
I am quite lovely without makeup, aren’t I?
Ok, the real one. Yes, there are 3 shots because I took 2 with my front facing camera.
Yes, my half smile looks like I ate a canary.
But look, a unedited (other than cropping) selfie.
I hope that I have encouraged all of you to try to accept your body and personal beauty more.
It is a tough road. If you follow @rebelandmalice on instagram, hashtag #feelgoodfriday for your feel good photos. It doesn’t have to be no makeup. Just show what makes you feel good and forget about keeping up with the Jones’s.
Stay Malicious, my Rebels